I love my bar. I love my beer. But most of all I love my Pittsburgh Steelers. What I can’t stand is all these new rules and regulations. Myrtle Beach has been on lock down for the last month. Club 211 West, was overrun by zombies a week ago so that’s fucked. And I can’t even serve beers anymore without some damn ASMZ filter on the taps. Fluoride does not enhance the flavor of a pecan porter, and I don’t give a shit what the law says. I’m outta here. Goodbye, Norfolk. Goodbye, kick ass beaches. And goodbye, Knights of Columbus! This place can burn!!
Honestly, I don’t want to leave. I love this place. I was guaranteed that only a couple people would read this, but don’t expect me to get all sentimental and shit. Let me start from the beginning… Well… Semi-beginning.
It was a dark and rainy night, when…..ha! I’m just fuckin’ with you! It was 2012 when I noticed the outbreak was getting to a point to where I had to pay attention. I’ve been serving beers here at the KC Hall for as long as I can remember. The news was covering bits and pieces of what was happening. Standing at the bar day in and day out, I had a chance to look up at the TV every now and then to notice the world crumbling around me. First thing that really made me squirm, was how the commercials changed. Everything was sponsored by the ASMZ. Hell, back in 2012 I didn’t even care who they were. But I do now. They have basically taken over every fuckin’ thing there is to take over! I think they are like the governments’ bitches or something. But the ASMZ has bitches too. The Canary. They are well dressed, sporting something yellow like a tie or socks. And they always order the most expensive shitty food we have, then don’t eat any of it! Anyway, they became regulars, then somehow… poof! We had to start doing what they say! They brought in filters for my taps, new signage for my walls and front door, and recruitment adverts in the form of beer coasters that I was forced to give out and place all over my bar. Bullshit! Well, I’ve had it.
Come the 20th, I’m leaving. I’ve got everything I need to start over anywhere I go. I could run any bar I walk into. So that’s what I plan on doing. Now, if you’ll excuse me. I’ve got knives to pack. I’ll explain later. Imma’ give a quick shout out to my bro Freak. I’m taking a copy of this letter with me because it kicks ass, and I’m leaving the original on the screen here at the bar for everyone (including you) to read and sob over, because I’m out this bitch! Freak, you know where to find me. Those books you left behind got me thinking, man. Even though the name of them was dumb as hell, it turned me on. I think I was asleep for a long time. So thank you for waking me up. And thank you for hooking me up with Thorn Tree Radio. You know where I’m going. Southaven. I expect to see you there. Don’t be a punk and puss out on me.
I’ve got a pack of smokes, some make-up, and a few home brews to pack yet, but today….Right now, is my last moments in the KC Hall. Farewell. I’ll be at home for a couple days to pack, then I’m out. Follow the trail of hacked up zombie bodies to Southaven if you ever want to see these pretty eyes again.