Sunday, March 11, 2012

KONY, AFRICA, & ZOMBIES

Joshua, Star and X. My attempts to get a hold of these three is going to drive me to smoking cigarettes again. This 'wooden shack' X spoke of was freaking me out. Where in Lagos were they? Which wooden shack were they in? I needed a way to report back to JIG so they would eventually come together. Once they could all find safety, I would tell them what they are looking for. And between me and you, if I would have said anything before now, there's no way they would have gotten on that plane. I'm lucky they've gone this far. After all, this is all just a hunch. Again, between me an you. I've already been chewed out for sharing information to the readers of this blog before I share it with the zombie fighters I report on. Cant we all just get along? Its my blog right?

And then, an email from STAR.

Eddie, I don't say much, because there is not much to say. We both know where this world is headed and we have both chosen to take active parts in fighting for what we believe in. But this Africa thing? We still don't know why the hell were here. We are running out of food and water. Joshua says that we have a purpose here and because of his military back ground, I listen and follow his lead. And I admit he has made some good choices out here. X.... Oh my gosh, that kid is too smart. Its like an old man is trapped inside of a kids body. But look. We narrowly escaped a friggin zombie attack the other day. Not just any zombie attack, big freakin' black puking, dark eyed evil zombies that want more than to eat me. They are like rabid dogs out here. Not to mention the HUM ATTACKS. Its been almost 7 days. We are in a dark basement of some sort. X says there's a way out down the hallway, but all we hear are zombies. ZOMBIES ZOMBIES ZOMBIES! We cant make a run for it, because the ASMZ is everywhere. And to top it all off, your on Twitter making our situation out to be some kind of entertainment. I see what you've been putting. "WILL THEY SURVIVE?, BEWARE AFRICAN ZOMBIES!". Its all BS dude. These old ass potatoes and carrots are starting to look good to me. Not much light though. We had a meeting in the hallway the other night. We discussed one of your Twitter posts. You mentioned something about the 3 generators. The first, the EPHOD, we are all familiar with. And because of its origin, I cant really dispute what you think the 2nd generator is. But THE ARC OF THE COVENANT? Are you out of your mind? We've been looking for that thing since the beginning of time. I didn't come to Africa to fulfill my dream of being the first female Indiana Jones, Eddie. Plus, that thing is fabled to be in Ethiopia. Why in the world would you have us meet in Lagos? We are on the wrong side of the continent. THE WRONG SIDE OF THE CONTINENT! Its dark, its hot, and there are zombies bred to turn us into mindless slaves. We don't know whats on the outside of that door and.... wait. Joshua is here, he wants to talk to you.

Eddie, Joshua here. X has found a way out of this coffin. I was contacted by JIG. Apparently he brought his brother Mike T along for the ride. He said that they have transport, but we have to make it to Ibadan which is only a 2 hour car ride from here. Now to secure a car. Things don't look that great. STAR wants to take a shower.She'll be fine though. We underestimated the situation here in Africa. There is more than just zombies and the ASMZ. There is chatter over our two way radio of a revolution. I'm not sure what the group is called but they are planning something. I distinctly heard "THEY WILL ATTACK US FOR OUR RESOURCES." Again, I don't know who is talking, or what they are talking about, but something is coming here. And if we are supposed to travel across Africa to Ethiopia... well, our troubles are just beginning. And another thing. When we traveled from the port of Lagos to where we are now, we noticed U.S. troops sweeping certain areas. We stayed out of site, which wasn't easy. In the dark its hard to do anything. But we know they have bigger better weapons, so we kept our distance. I just cant figure out what they would be doing here. Isn't the war in Syria? There were also crowds of people at the little airport where we were HUM ATTACKED, holding anti AFRICOM signs with a picture of this dude named KONY.?. Do you know anything about this dude? The signs look like he's some kind of resistance leader or something. I don't know. With these puss spouting zombies here, I cant seem to make sense of anything. The thing I cant figure out is, if this KONA dude is supposed to be some kind of resistance leader against AFRICOM, why would he be campaigning here? The LRA disappeared back in 2006. At least that's what the news back home says. What do you know? Don't tell me our troops are here to secure more resources.... That's not what I signed into the military for years back.. I'm assuming. Let me get back to the problems at hand. As it stands, we've got zombies that come in waves outside. X is keeping a close ear to a trap door that leads out. We are taking shifts so we can all get the rest we need. We need JIG though. We are hoping he has supplies. We are hungry. X pulls out granola bars every now and then, splits them up and shares them with us. We are trying to avoid eating the potatoes and carrots that are down here. They have dust and mold on them. But they look pretty tempting at the same time. Look, when we do sit down, we all need an explanation on this ARC OF THE COVENANT thing. I'm not a holy man, but I saw the TEMPLE OF DOOM, and I don't want to touch anything like that! We are getting ready for battle between resting. We know we have to make it out of here to meet with JIG. Wish us luck. Give us good news. US ZFC FF


1 comment: