Saturday, March 31, 2012

Hoodies. Zombies. And Isabelle

Isabelle shared her situation a couple of days ago with us here at the Houston ZFC. She is stuck in Galveston and needs help. Her little sister Dorothy is a trooper for putting up with as much as she has for this long. If we have our story straight, we know that she goes to the library to get online every few days to look for her father. Poor girl. He might be looking for her too, neither know where to begin though. Since this zombie thing has come about, were all a little lost.... aren't we?

We sent a team of 10 people to the Galveston Island yesterday to look for Isabelle and little Dorothy. We named them GO'FER. Half way there, they reported back:

"Houston ZFC are you there"
"yes"
"We have come across a......problem" "go on"
"We reached the town of Texas City and there seems to be a mob of people with signs, blocking the freeway"
"continue"
"Well, normally a mob wouldn't stop us, but this mob is different... organized"
"in what way"
"First off, they are all wearing hoodies... looks like they are in protest for that kid being murdered the other day by that racist pig... you know the one?"
"yes, we know the one. Trayvon Martin"
"That's right, there seems to be more though. Police in riot gear. We don't want to get too close."
"Maybe you can fit in until you find a way through?"
"We thought so too, but there are too many people and cars on this stupid road....wait"
"What is it?"
"ZOMBIES! ZOMBIES ON THE FREE WAY!! HUNDREDS OF THEM!"
"COME BACK, COME BACK...ARE YOU SAFE? OVER!"
"NEGATIVE NEGATIVE! NO WHERE TO RUN Get out of the car! Run! Fall back Fall back!!"
"GO'FER DO YOU READ! GO'FER!!"

We heard HUM ATTACKS in the background. Gun Fire. The sound of splatting zombies and tearing flesh. Screams. Violence.

We had no response from GO'FER, but we 'did' get a response...

"ZFC HOUSTON. HOW UNFORTUNATE I AM TALKING TO YOU. THIS IS 1ST COMMANDER BARRY SOETERROR OF THE ASMZ. THOUGH I GIVE YOU CREDIT FOR 'THINKING' THAT YOU KNOW WHAT YOUR DOING... YOU DON'T. LEAVE THIS TO THE BIG BOYS. I CANT TELL YOU HOW CUTE I THINK IT IS THAT YOU WANT TO 'SAVE THE WORLD' FROM CONSPIRACY OR TYRANNY. WHEN ALL THE WHILE YOUR JUST FEEDING THE CAUSE. LET US DO OUR JOB. I KNOW YOU THINK THE ASMZ IS THE 'BAD GUYS' AND THAT YOU ARE THE 'GOOD GUYS', BUT I HOPE WE CAN CHANGE ALL THAT IN THE FUTURE. WE ARE HERE TO DIFFUSE THIS 'HOODIE' PROBLEM HERE AS FAST AS WE CAN. THESE ZOMBIES ALWAYS GET IN THE WAY THOUGH. I WOULDN'T WORRY ABOUT A THING. WE WEREN'T ABLE TO CATCH ALL YOUR SO CALLED 'FRIENDS' BUT WE TRIED. A COUPLE OF THEM GOT AWAY LIKE THE RATS THEY ARE AND HEADED SOUTH. THIS TRAYVON MARTIN THING IS ONE OF MANY THINGS I AM SURE YOU WILL CALL 'DISTRACTIONS FROM WHATS REALLY GOING ON'. ALL YOU DOOMS-DAYERS ARE THE SAME. ANYWAY, I WISH YOU LUCK IN WHAT EVER ROLL YOU DECIDE TO PLAY IN THIS FIGHT WITH ZOMBIES. THE REST OF YOUR CREW WILL BE HELD DOWNTOWN UNTIL YOU BAIL THEM OUT. AND FROM THE LOOKS OF IT, THAT'LL BE A WHILE CONSIDERING HOW BROKE YOU ALL ARE :) OH YEA...KILLEM'ALL... HOW CUTE.

This spit in the face from 1st Commander Barry Soeterror, whoever that is was embarrassing. I have to keep my focus on Isabelle and her sister. We got word back from the library in Galveston. No sign of the girls as of yet, but were waiting.

Isabelle.. if your still alive out there. Please meet our remaining ZFC at the library. They will guide you back safely here where you will be able to rest as long as you'd like.

And contrary to what Barry Soeterror says....

KILLEM'ALL

EDDIE ROTTEN

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