Monday, September 19, 2011

BACK IN THE SADDLE

Ive had a wonderful couple of days. I took my family to the beach for a drum circle. We went to a Greek restaurant. We danced in the rain.... all good stuff. I haven't enjoyed my family in such a long time. Government funded Zombie Farms can put a damper on things. I wont digress.

My sons are leaders in their world. Groups of 'wannabe's' come to them for zombie training. Others flock to my wife for compassion and leadership. Mostly women that have lost their over zealous husbands, brothers, children etc. Stepping back, my family is relentlessly fantastic.

Ive taken the time away from the zombie blog to re-engage myself with them. The people you love the most can become strangers fast in a world of walking dead. And if your reading this wondering what the hell.....well... maybe its time you re-engage yourself with your family too?

Zombies are carrying a sense of brutality these days. I didn't want to mention how hard it was to actually make it to the beach, but it wasn't easy. I'll never forget the good time we had while we were there though. My sons stepped up and saved family after family. Weaponless.

The power just flickered...

Its been happening more lately. The ASMZ has joined up with groups our intel cant track. The biggest bit of news to come in was the threat of the NWO... more commonly known as the New World Order. We all saw it coming.

Look for the AMERO

With all the wars being manufactured around the world it was only a matter of time till they force us to combine resources. The powers that be think it (we) will be easier to manage if were all under the same umbrella. I say screw that. The revolution is coming from more fronts than they know about. Even this blog is being watched, but I don't care. We out number the strongest armies of the planet... or off planet.

The GYPSY GROUP is pulling their forces together to create counter zombie terrorism groups all over the world. These rogue governments are becoming more dangerous because they drop off hordes of zombies in rural areas unannounced. So far, even with trained zombie killers out there, we aren't able to fight them off. The victims become infected and turn too fast these days. These days... ugh. What a dreadful sound.

My posts will be more frequent. My family understands the times we are in. The final times. This Armageddon is not the final Armageddon, don't be confused. But we are in the time of frequency change. We are in the cusp of two historical moments colliding. Keep your eyes peeled and your ears trained. Every piece of information helps. Leave comments or follow @eddierotten on Twitter. I know it seems like a petty beg for attention, but I know how strong our zombie fighting forces are, and so far... here and Twitter seem to be the safest place to communicate. Look for the other zombie fighters on Twitter also. Even non zombie fighters can be a source of intel. Do your homework please.

This year is almost over. I'm typing this and noticing my keys are stained red. Ive tried to clean them with bleach but the red just..... stays. 2012 is coming. And with it, new outbreaks, diseases, manufactured wars and worst of all... ZOMBIES. Faster, Hungrier, Louder, Deadlier.

News just came in over my 'hot board' that the ASMZ is planning an attack on the 31st of October. How ironic. Hello Halloween.

And for the hacker members of the ASMZ or the CANARY GROUP. Or even the traders that are suspected in the GYPSY GROUP, I am here. I'm not running. Our soldiers are ready for you. And not even the ZOMBIE APOCALYPSE cant stop our purpose.

DEATH CANNOT KILL THAT WHICH NEVER DIES.

KILLEM'ALL

EDDIE ROTTEN

remember to use the 'zombie research' bar on the side to answer any questions

Tuesday, September 6, 2011

DEAD ISLAND IRONY

So im watching tv with my wife. Were flipping through the channels trying to keep up with the fires burning through Texas. A commercial comes on advertising a midnight release of the much anticipated game DEAD ISLAND. My wife was falling out and I decided to make a run. I looked online at the closest available gamestop to me that would be selling at midnight, and Galveston was it. There was a gamestop 5 minutes from the house but fate asked me to go out of my way for such a worldly object. So be it.

I decided to take the Subaru. My family was asleep and the rumble of my motorbike would surely wake them all on this, the last night of a 3 day labor day weekend. It wasn't washed. I could tell because there was a distinct imprint of a bloody face and one hand print on the windshield. My wife must of had an exciting drive the day before. Oh well. Must soldier on.

On the freeway I was listening to a radio program (coast to coast) and they were covering demon possession and otherworldly influences that could be a part of our government. And as odd a topic as it was, it was a good break from real life. And just as I traveled onto the Galveston island bridge, I saw the cliche zombie on the side of the road, stuffing it's face with what used to be a dog or armadillo or chupacabra... I don't know what it was. But it was that bloody scene that made me respect the tame conversation that was on the radio.

The bridge to Galveston was dark that night. There were half as many lights on. And most of the light I had was either coming from my Subarus head lamps or from the occasional burning vehicles rolled off to the side lane. That's when my zombie-dar started to go off. 'Somethings definitely not right'.

By the end of the bridge I realized that the gamestop was a mile away, inside the parking lot of what used to be a Wal-Mart super center. Lots of space to challenge my cars racing suspension, or to mow down zombies. Hard choice...

First things first. Get the game, then test my suspension while mowing down zombies in the parking lot. Good plan if I must say so myself.

As soon as I stepped out, a moan came from behind my left shoulder. My reaction was a quick high elbow jab. It dropped the guy to his knees. I say guy, because it was one. He was dressed as a zombie for the release party. His girlfriend was already teary eyed and jerking me down towards the ground with her index finger over her puckered lips.

We rolled under a truck obviously owned by a hillbilly. Ive never hidden behind a truck tire until then. Well...there was that one time.. but I won't get into all that. That truck was jacked up higher than a beach house on stilts. But who am I to judge. Psychologists say erectile dysfunction manifests itself in many different ways.

I should have listened to the rest of the commercial earlier that night. People were asked to dress up as a zombie for the release. My bad. That poor dude was holding his nose from falling off and all the while I should have been in character myself. I was about to apologize when the lady quickly held her hand over my mouth. She pointed off to the right.

Zombies.

Hundreds of zombies coming towards the gamestop. There were protesters outside the store picketing that this was zombie exploitation. 'ITS NOT THEIR FAULT' written on signs. My personal favorite was 'FAT ZOMBIES NEED LOVE TOO'. Anyway, their noise attracted every zombie in the area.

There we were. In the most ironic moment of my life. Hiding from zombies. Under a hillbilly truck ( which I make fun of all the time), on an island full of zombies, while trying to buy DEAD ISLAND. How crazy is that??

The horde shuffled their way right next to us. I remember trying not to breath too loud to a point to where I almost suffocated myself. My new buddy was bleeding through his fingers from his nose giving me the 'I HATE YOU' look. Geez. I already apologized.

The horde was big. Too big for me and my gun. I decided to stay hidden. Good thing too. The zombs made their way to the protesters. And because if their values, most of them died... then came back to kill off the rest. The doors to the gamestop were locked tight and the patrons inside were too busy playing the game on big screens to even notice.

But I noticed. It was a massacre. The zombies didn't leave much left. And I know it shouldn't be funny, but the night's ironies didn't end with my personal situation. The zombies ended up with the picketers 'ZOMBIE RIGHTS' signs. Moaning and stumbling around with those things was hilarious. Eventually the horde moved on. We kept position and waited for the ASMZ convoy to pass by. We didn't want to be seen or questioned so we got better acquainted under the truck. Turns out they were a husband and wife team that had never killed a zombie on their own. I invited them to my wife's weekly get together, teaching our communities how to protect themselves from zombies.

After most of the drama was gone, we all went in together. People are so creative with their zombie costumes. Some looked really life like. Very good!!

In the end, I bought the game, went home and played it until I loved it. Its not an immediate love like RED DEAD REDEMPTION. But it's really good just the same. You can see my other short comments about the game on Twitter @eddierotten.

I'll think twice next time I want to venture out at midnight for a game run. Im still on punishment from the wife....

I love punishment ;)

KILLEM'ALL
EDDIE ROTTEN

Thursday, September 1, 2011

ZOMBIES!!! Continued

As the man yelled the zombie vomited out a bloody scream of its own, and started reaching its chewed up arms for him.

Screaming for the family to unite position, the mother gathered her young and husband and made their way towards a house a 1/4 mile away.

Luckily they weren't up against a runner. They would have never made it out alive. They banged on the door for help while keeping an eye on the monster. Tired of waiting the husband kicked the door in. The smell of rotting flesh hit them immediately. There was an old woman sitting in an armchair next to the window. Dead. Holding a shotgun. There was a note on the lamp table that simply said, " NOT ME, NOT LIKE THIS". The man herded his family in a small closet under the stairs, grabbed the poor old lady's shotgun and scavenged the house for shells.

Nothing.

Every cabinet, every drawer, every closet. Void of shells. Pissed, he stomped back to the carcass and yelled at her at the top of his lungs. " YOU STUPID OLD HAG! YOU DON'T HAVE ANY SHELLS?!" He then noticed, on the floor next to the chair, in plain view.

Shells

Written on the inside of the lid in permanent marker.. YOU CAN THANK ME LATER.

The man loaded the shotgun. And not a moment too soon. The zombie was here. Gurgling and moaning the zombie made its way up the steps to the old Victorian styled home. Its face smeared a dark puss on the glass as it seemed to try and gnaw its way through the window.

The man's wife and kids were silent in the closet now. Too terrified to make a peep. This would be his first kill. Unknown to him, the first for the zombie too if luck was on its side. But not this time.

Before zombies ravaged our world. Before Gadhafi fled to hide secrets of zombie farms. Before children were given gun rites in school for zombie protection. Before any of this nonsense, there was THIS kind of battle. Gritty. Frightening. Panicked. And virgin.

The man stumbled back and started to loose it. " WHAT ARE YOU! WHAT DO YOU WANT! I'LL SHOOT YOU! I'LL KILL YOU DAMMIT!"

The mans daughter overheard his fear and he heard her start to wimper. His anger raged inside at the sound of that innocent cry. He picked himself up and stepped quickly towards the door. The zombie couldn't be happier. Slobbering at the mouth, the zombie greeted him at the front door.

The man cocked the shotgun as if he'd done it a million times before, swung open the door and screamed in the face of the zombie. He butted the barrel as deep as he could into the chin of the creature and pulled the trigger.

BAM!!

He stood there filled with rage as the lifeless body dropped to the porch. He looked up and noticed the white van. The men with gas masks were inside. The passenger gave a sarcastic nod and two finger salute as they turned away from the property.

His first fear was infection. His family rushed out and stood by his side as the van disappeared down the farm road. With out masks of their own they were surely dead. But they weren't. Maybe a scare tactic? Maybe they were infected and didn't want to spread it? But why were they there at all? Why didn't they help?

His wife held him close. He glanced down at the shotgun and noticed a label. He looked closer, Wiped the blood and hair away. It read ASMZ.

He now knows, months later, it was all set up. The infamous ASMZ took the opportunity to test the first subjects they could. They killed the lady, planted the gun and the note inside the box of shells. The gun was official ASMZ issue.

And here we are. Still fighting. Still surviving. Still living.

EDDIE ROTTEN
KILLEM'ALL

ZOMBIES!!!

Days have passed. I was struck with a vile case of strep throat that rendered me voiceless and unable to move for several days. I was able to catch up on some zombie blogs though. Im impressed on how well people fight zombies now. At first, the Armageddon syndrome took over and people froze in battle with the zombs. Parents teaching their young the art of surviving a zombie attack. Did you ever think this day would come?

Speaking of days to come, we are on the summit overlooking 2012. It really has never meant much to me before now. Maybe all the hype sets in at the last moment. Zombies are still the poison of the planet. They are destroying crops and water rationings. Of coarse its all being blamed on the heat wave, or what globalist are calling ' global warming'.
What people forget about zombies, is that eventually they die also. Their hunger is only for flesh and blood, but their bodies are not modified passed the frequency in their brains pushing them to continue until the brain turns off, or blown out... either way. My point is, what we've discovered over the last several months is that as disgusting as zombies are, they are still.... or 'were' still, human. Meaning we can't survive off each others blood, and we can't live long from eating each others flesh. When zombies run out of blood, they fall and die soon after. Its much more fun with a shotgun to the head though. 'No guilt murder' is what the local tabloids are calling it.

Im at work now. My family is safe at home. Others aren't so lucky though. I know people that have lost their whole family to zombies. Most of which are now members of the GYPSY GROUP. One guy in particular was backed into an old house outside Austin TX. He got lucky...

Him and his family were traveling when their suburban broke down. Radiator. He worked on the car while his family kept the doors closed. It was getting dark. Hard to see. Hot. His only idea was to flag down the next car and ask for help. The next car finally came. It was a van. White. 8 passengers, all wearing gas masks. They drove by slowly, staring through the toxic goggles. Without stopping or offering help, the now familiar white van crept away. Frightened now, he realized the gas masks could only mean that infection was close by. This was all before zombies were a household name. He and his family saw their first zombie 20 minutes later, staggering towards them on the same road their car died on.

There wasn't much out there. A few dead trees and some large stones scattered about. As the zombie approached, the man said his wife and two kids got out of the vehicle and went pee on the side of the road, hidden from the mass of the car. And not too worried about the outbreak either. At this point, there were only random news broadcasts quickly covering a flu like epidemic. Seeing the white van with gas masks was the first time it was real for him.

The zombie continued its path towards them. They didn't think anything of the zombie at first. Must be a drunk bum way out in the middle of nowhere. Worse things have happened.

The zombie approached.

The family watched as the father asked the stumbling mass of flesh if he needed help. With one look into his grey eyes, the man yelled for his family to RUN!

TO BE CONTINUED