Friday, June 10, 2011

They call him DAVID, THE ZOMBIE DESTROYER

Ive been working with my uncle who is the web developer and lifesaver behind my android phone app ZOMBIE LIFE. Without him I wouldn't be able to share this very important blog on phone devices. Apple is too expensive to make an application for. And during a zombie apocalypse, I'm not throwing money around like I have it. The few dollars I have left will be close to my person.

But... because of the application, there are a few people out there who actually 'want' to read up on the zombie news. And every now and then I actually meet the people who use it for what its meant for. JAMES and MONICA were the last two people that I crossed paths with. They turned out to be an odd couple that ended up being mercenaries for THE GYPSY GROUP, and they were a hand full to say the least. If you want to read their story, just look up JAMES and MONICA in the archives.

Which leads me to today. Im at home now, but earlier at work... I was running my machine lathe when I heard a loud BANG on the bay doors to the shop. I just knew it was trouble. We hadn't had very many zombies in the area lately, but we have had a crap load of ASMZ officers patroling around. They are such pricks. I was thinking that zombies had come back and had gatherd around the shop because of the noise we make inside. Maybe they were banging, trying to get in. But I was wrong. I was right about there being plenty of zombies, but wrong about what was making the loud BANG.

I got to a point to where I could turn my machine off and listened for a second. There were only two other people working with me last night but they were in the break room watching TELEMUNDO. The shop was quiet, so I opened the bottom drawer of my Craftsman tool box and pulled out my pistol grip shotgun.

I started toward the front of the shop where the bay doors were when I heard the loud BANG again. This time it was much louder and I could actually see the bay doors bow in a bit. I quicky hid behind the Hwacheon engine lathe, thinking the sheer steel and size of the machine would protect me against whatever was out there. But again... quiet.

I stood up and ran toward the door quietly, pushing the security button. We have a nifty little security box that lets us see if Fed Ex or UPS is delivering, so I had a clear view of the area just outside the door. As the camera panned its osculating cycle from left to right... I saw bodies. Bodies laying everywhere. There were bodies sprawled out in contorted postions. There were bodies draped over the bed of the company truck which was now half covered in stale zombie remains. There were bodies that looked like they were stuffed in the material racks, laid across the picnic tables, stuck on the spikes of my jeep, and even blocking the door from being opened with out a good push.

I only saw 5 or 6 zombies in the parking lot. They were quickly making their way toward the right side of the screen, but what they were after was just out of sight. As the zombies continued, and as the camera made its way to and away from my wonder target, I heard a series of shots. Like 15 or more. They were shotgun blasts. It sounded as if someone had a row of shotguns and unloaded them one by one on the approaching zombies. As the zombies started to fall apart before my eyes, on the far right side of the 4 inch screen, he entered.

He had the gun I only wished I had. The AA-12. As he slowly walked into view, he ejected the circular clip and clicked in a new one. As the camera panned back to the left, I saw a fresh batch of flesh eaters eager to take bullets on the chance they could have his brains that evening. Unlike the zombies of the past, they weren't interested in just meat, they wanted living breathing flesh. Zombies used to eat each other down to the bone if there wasn't anything of interest elsewhere, but they have changed somehow. Smarter... somehow.

But just as the last batch was mowed down, this was no different. As the rounds fired out one after another, the oncoming zombies lost legs and limbs in their attempt on new meat. He ran out of ammo and at the end of it there was only him and one other zombie. Thats when I decided to raise the bay door.  As I did, I had to pull extra hard. It seemed stuck on something. And I was right. There was two zombie bodies folded in half caught on the latch, keeping it from opening properly. I guess the two zombies were thrown like balls at the bay doors?!? I took a broom and shoved them away and flung the bay door open.  The man was standing in the parking lot getting ready for the final battle. I yelled out to him, " you want me to get that one?" He turned his head and looked at me. It was dark so I couldnt make out his features, but he was a well built dude. I could see sweat glistening off his arms so I know he had been working for it. It was either sweat or blood.

He looked back in the direction of the zombie and started walking towards it. By this time I had made it over to my jeep and began pulling a zombie off the front spikes. The man had a long slow stride to each step. I figured he would just reload and shoot the last one down, but he seemed to have a bone to pick with zombies. And from the look of the parking lot, It was a BIG bone. I watched him take his gun and flip it around like a baseball player to where he was holding the barrel part of the gun. Mind you... the AA-12 has no 'real' barrel shape, so he had a good grip by the time he went to swing it.

I thought to myself, "one good connect and that zombs head is gonna fly like a bird". And I was right. He took a small trot and a skip before the hit and swung with all his might. It looked like he had done that before.... and perfected the move.

I was half way to him by this time.  He turned to me and said, "why didnt you open the door, didnt you hear me knocking?"  "That was your knock? I'd hate to see your pound!" I said.. He smiled and wiped blood from his cheek with his forearm. He reached out his hand and said his name was DAVID.

After he cleaned up we sat in the break room and tried to find anything other than news and Spanish channels to break the ice. Finally we ended up on Carson Daily where some music was playing. Great time to start talking.

He said he was a fan of EDDIEROTTEN.COM and that he originally came across my app just looking for anything zombie-Esq in the android market. He had the old ZOMBIE LIFE app and upgraded to the ENTWEB app. But through the blog posts he found out where I fought zombies mostly and just started asking around. He ended up killing around 20 or more zombs when he finally found me. 

He does however have a story, and DAVID.... if your reading this, dont be pissed that im letting the cat out of the bag. No one truly knows you, and for all I know, the name DAVID could be code for something else.... anyway, DAVID reminded me of my meeting with JAMES and MONICA. I nodded and said I remember. He asked if they had any messages for me or if I remember them mentioning anything that stood out when they killed zombies with me and my family on my front lawn the other day. I just said, "no".

Turns out DAVID is the guy who trained JAMES and MONICA. He was the original combat officer for the ASMZ before they started their true agenda of population control. He said that when the ASMZ introduced their new CANARY GROUP, that was enough for him. After a huge blood bath fight with high ranking officials of the ASMZ and the government, he fled and eventually joined up with the GYPSY GROUP.

DAVID is the link ive been looking for to help explain all this puffer fish stuff. He knows ALOT about zombie farms and even that weird EMP GUN we found at NASA. With DAVID'S help, if I can talk him into it.... i'll be able to train people better in the ways of fighting zombies. Him with his government issued AA-12 are an unstoppable machine. He is the liaison Ive been waiting for so I can pump more intel out of the GYPSY GROUP.

He also seems to know alot about politics of the nation and the cover ups that are going on. Hopefully we will be able to discuss our views with out our ideas banging heads like elephants and donkeys do. Only time will tell.

At the end of the night, the ASMZ came around and the CANARY GROUP jumped out of their white vans with their yellow toxic suits on to clean up the mess in the parking lot. DAVID took off long before they arrived, because just like JAMES and MONICA, he was being hunted too. 

And on the drive home, I stopped at a light and stayed there one second too long. A zombie flung its body on my jeep and cracked the windshield even worse than it was. I need to get that fixed. But my windows are 'roll downs', so it was easy to stick out my happy hand cannon and blow its brains out just before the light turned green. Gruesome I know, but don't act like you haven't done it.

I'll fill you in as the news comes in. I'm still discovering the capabilities of the EMP GUN. DAVID said he will come by and give me a tutorial on it. He said the one I have is an older model. The newer ones are much more catastrophic.  And dont let me forget about the moon dust that came back from the last shuttle mission. Bad stuff is all I can say. I'll get to it though. In the mean time.. sharpen your weapons, do your push ups, hug your family and stay in touch. Zombies are outside..... dont ignore them.

KILLEM'ALL
peace
EDDIE ROTTEN

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