Wednesday, May 18, 2011

JAMES & MONICA (part 2)

My wife picked the boys up from school and arrived back  home at around 4:30. After a quick snack we went to my garage and opened the weapon vault. I was half showing off my gun collection, and half preparing for battle. My family picked their weapons and started loading them. I asked if they needed to use anything, JAMES just said no,MONICA just glanced at me and rolled her eyes....

We stood at the front door ready to fight hell. JAMES & MONICA chose to be up front. My wife was behind them. My boys were behind her. And I pulled up the rear (no need for sick jokes people). My boys had their iPods in and my wife was humming some song from Greatful Dead. WE RUSH OUT ON 3....2...1....GO!

JAMES pulled the locked door and slammed his body into it clumsily.  We all got a good laugh out of that. K. AGAIN.... this time with the door unlocked.  3....2...1...GO!!!

We came out of the door like buckshot from my shotgun.  Zombies were literally everywhere.  This quickly turned from a night of casual zombie killing to fighting for our very lives.  If only I had a time lapse camera to show the grace of this battle. You would all be proud. Zombies were coming from every direction. My sons teamed up and blasted direct head shots and zombies started falling. But there were plenty more to worry about.

MONICA and my wife stood back to back and fired their pistols round after round. My wife was also packing a machete,  which she started to rotate in as her guns got hot. MONICA started showing her true colors as the fight warmed up. She put her guns up and started fighting ZOMBIES hand to hand. She grabbed the arms of an incoming zomb and pulled it to her fast as she gave a high kick to the  head. I dubbed that move.... THE PEZ DISPENSER.   Too early in the fight to give it the zombie kill of the day.

JAMES & I had our hands full too. We somehow ended up with several of the bigger more stubborn zombies. JAMES never drew his shotgun but sliced through the hordes with precision. I had a zombie actually jump on my back and before I could unload a round in its head,  the body fell headless at my feet. "Thank me later" is all he said. Back to work.

My sons were doing OK. They took refuge in top of the car. That's the best place to take a quick break if you need one.

MONICA was still, with out fatigue,  fist cracking zombies to death. With her elbows she snapped the neck of the zombs from behind. She swept the legs of zombs and used their body as a stepping stool to launch and attack bigger zombies. I got tired just watching her! I ran out of shells and climbed on top of the jeep to reload. My wife was down with MONICA,  each surrounded by 10 or 12 zombies. My wife was now using a sawed off shotgun and a machete.  She would fight and move strategically so that a few zombies would line up. And when they would, she pulled out the shotgun and pulled once on the trigger.

Zombies started dropping faster now that we were all warmed up. I glanced over at My boys and they were still on top of the car arguing over who's iPod was who's.  Every five shouts between them they would pull their leg up from a grabbing zombie and blast them in the head.

We were down to 10 or 20 ZOMBIES now. JAMES was showing his fatigue now and MONICA was too.
Why they weren't using their guns was beyond me.... until the ASMZ pulled up.

The white vans plowed through the remaining zombies when they drove onto my lawn. I looked at JAMES & MONICA, and they put their hand to hand weapons away. I saw the first ASMZ officer get out of his car and take two steps before I heard the cock of JAMES'S Shotgun.  JAMES & MONICA hated the ASMZ MUCH more than I did. As the officers piled lout of the van, JAMES & MONICA attacked with all the ammunition they had. There were a few that shot back if they had a chance. One officer hid behind the door and yelled for them to surrender. He was obviously not talking to my family.  But this dude was out numbered an out gunned. The vans were both riddled with bullet holes and steaming from the radiators. 

MONICA silently made her way around with out being seen and shot the ASMZ officer I the sole of his foot. He rolled out and dropped his gun. JAMES walked up and towered over the man, told him to drive back and to tell his people to stop hunting them.  

My family and I were practically eating popcorn by now. We didn't know WHAT THE HELL was goin on. But we just watched. The ASMZ officer got in his van, backed over several zombies and off my completely destroyed front yard, and drove out of site.

My guests JAMES & MONICA walked back toward us.... who were still on top of our cars.

"Were gonna go now if that's cool" JAMES said exhaustingly. MONICA told my wife she ate the last of the cold pizza that was in the fridge. They both climbed onto the motorcycle, MONICA wrapped her tired arms around JAMES'S huge body and they pulled around to me as I got off the jeep. "REORGANIZED GYPSY GROUP" he said. I looked at MONICA who high brow'd me and said "GYPSY MERCS.....damn Eddie, do we have to spell it out for you?" She rolled her eyes. I smiled oddly. They drove away.


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