Friday, February 4, 2011


So this cold has blown through Houston and frozen just about everything. I decided to take the Subaru out a few hours ago to see how bad it really was. The news came on earlier today to let us all know that the city will be shutting down for a few days. As I drove, I could see all the SUV's that crammed themselves into ditches. Over zealous drivers never get very far. And the bad side is... the Zombies. They don't do very well with the ice and snow either, but they do great once they find some trapped family in a wrecked car. My sons insist on staying at home to protect.. Don't know if they are afraid to go out with me or just...well.... smarter than I.
I stopped in to my neighbors dive, Zombie Burger. I decided to park around back just to get a closer look at the zombie show he had planned for the night. Weird. Didn't see anyone.
I parked anyway and made my way to the front door. Just like everything else, that brass handle was Freezing Cold! And, just in case, I had my 9mm ready for action. Good thing too. When I opened the door, I expected to see groups of drunkards, singing some old Irish song in unison. It was... of all things...anything but that. I immediately had to jab a charging zombie right in the jaw. Luckily the punch stunned him enough for me to continue my assault while he fell to the ground. One good stomp and he was no more trouble. There was four more coming at me at an alarming rate. I suddenly realized, I should have brought my shot gun. With hand guns, you need to be a good shot. Especially when you have the walking dead as your rival. I decided to let them all get closer to me while I double checked my escape routes. All windows and one door. I took aim and shot at the two fastest approaching zombies.The first one fell with one shot. My ego was beyond where it should have been because I unloaded 5 shots into the head of the next zombie before it fell into pieces at my feet. Sometimes shooting a zombie in the head just isn't enough. It has to completely destroy the brain. Realizing I still had two more flesh eaters coming my way I took aim and pulled my trigger. CLICK. Nothing. I pulled and pulled almost in denial until I could feel the uncomfortable warmth from the dead body reaching out for me. I darted past him and jumped behind the bar, where I found my neighbor. He must have taken his own life because there was a pistol in his hand and a hole in his head. I quickly snatched the gun from his hand and turned around to kill those two dead farts. I must be loosing my touch because by the time I turned around, the two turtle zombies had made their way to me, and then some. Before I could even aim, the zombie grabbed my arm and opened his mouth. He looked hungry. I pulled back hard and dropped the gun on the counter top. Picked it up with my left hand and rammed it into his temple. The tip of my gun was buried in his head before I even pulled a shot, so when I did, it sounded like I had a silencer on it. The zombie fell lifeless and bounced off the bar, falling into my last target. The zombie stumbled back from the new obstacle. Time seemed to slow down just for a second for me. I, had almost been bitten. Since the hole I fell into with my wife at NASA, I hadn't had hand to hand combat with any zombies. And for some reason, all the anger from loosing my freedom, friends, some family, my dignity and a lot of sanity came out all at the same time. I aimed that gun at the last stumbling zombie and started stomping towards him. Instead of shooting him, I kept my aim and started throwing bottles at him. I picked up a stool and launched it at his head. I started yelling at the top of my lungs, that I was tired of living like this. I was tired of worrying about those... things. I was pissed that I cant fix what happened. I remember tearing up but I must have been enraged because I don't ever cry. Finally, after throwing things out of my way, and with my back to the door; I held that pistol like it was the American flag. I was proud to put this evil out of 'my' misery. I wiped my face and just as I went to pull the trigger, the door opened up and I fell ass first into the cold of the snow. The cold froze my face because of the tears. The ASMZ was surrounding the building. I was looking up at a man dangling my keys over my face. "Get up and leave HotRod". Just as I got up, they yanked the gun out of my hand and pointed to my car around the building. Out of breath and angry I stood there with my mouth open. I cant believe they aren't even going to let me kill that animal in there. They can study any other zombie in the world, but I wanted that one.
Anyway. On the way home, I 'happened' to see a few zombies walking through the park. I ran over those buzz kills. Pretty happy about the spikes I installed on the Subaru.

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