Sunday, February 27, 2011


On top of a Zombie apocalypse my family has been smacked with the flu. We were told to get the vaccinations but I counciled against it. I hope that wasn't a bad idea. My brain defaults to conspiracy 9 times out of 10. CAN YOU BLAME ME??? If it weren't for old fashioned faith in humanity I probably would have been locked up long ago. While my family is asleep I thought I'd take a second to clearify what a zombie is... as far as we know. The movies and books so far have created this fictional world of zombies that can run and jump and pump your gas and take long walks on the beach.... oh and the funniest thing Hollywood has done is made Zombies immortal. Aside from the occasional bullet in the brain.
Unless I'm proven wrong, the zombies in my reality are mostly old, washed up, annoying, sloppy, messy knuckle draggers that are looking for a hand out. The story of them screaming 'brains' is rediculous. They make noise till their heard and if they're not, they drag ass your way. That being said, with us not sure how zombies came about, you still gotta watch your back. They are incredibly strong. And their WILL TO EAT YOU is even stronger. They will bang their hands down to the nubs to get to you thru a door or window. But seriously, a zombies true disorder (besides them being dead) is their appetite. They really do have an uncanny tastse for raw meat. That's why most of the livestock went first. They eat every damn thing. Like a retarded goat. Each other included. Zombies, in a large contained group will eat each other. That's why the ASMZ gathers them like they do. The only thing that will sway Zombies from killing themselves off completely, is the attention we give them. If we ignore them I'm sure things would return to normal. But with the media and the governments blowing things up..... well, maybe were beyond ignoring them. Or maybe we've ignored them for far too long?.? Maybe this really is 'the' Zombie apocalypse? .... If that's the case... who's fault is it. The government for covering up knowledge of the inevitable coming end...or our own fault, for sitting back and watching the Zombies slowly take over our planet.
Anyway, enough serious crap talk... who's your pick for American Idol this year?
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