Sunday, February 27, 2011

2.27.2011 ZOMBIE ACKNOWLEDGEMENT

On top of a Zombie apocalypse my family has been smacked with the flu. We were told to get the vaccinations but I counciled against it. I hope that wasn't a bad idea. My brain defaults to conspiracy 9 times out of 10. CAN YOU BLAME ME??? If it weren't for old fashioned faith in humanity I probably would have been locked up long ago. While my family is asleep I thought I'd take a second to clearify what a zombie is... as far as we know. The movies and books so far have created this fictional world of zombies that can run and jump and pump your gas and take long walks on the beach.... oh and the funniest thing Hollywood has done is made Zombies immortal. Aside from the occasional bullet in the brain.
Unless I'm proven wrong, the zombies in my reality are mostly old, washed up, annoying, sloppy, messy knuckle draggers that are looking for a hand out. The story of them screaming 'brains' is rediculous. They make noise till their heard and if they're not, they drag ass your way. That being said, with us not sure how zombies came about, you still gotta watch your back. They are incredibly strong. And their WILL TO EAT YOU is even stronger. They will bang their hands down to the nubs to get to you thru a door or window. But seriously, a zombies true disorder (besides them being dead) is their appetite. They really do have an uncanny tastse for raw meat. That's why most of the livestock went first. They eat every damn thing. Like a retarded goat. Each other included. Zombies, in a large contained group will eat each other. That's why the ASMZ gathers them like they do. The only thing that will sway Zombies from killing themselves off completely, is the attention we give them. If we ignore them I'm sure things would return to normal. But with the media and the governments blowing things up..... well, maybe were beyond ignoring them. Or maybe we've ignored them for far too long?.? Maybe this really is 'the' Zombie apocalypse? .... If that's the case... who's fault is it. The government for covering up knowledge of the inevitable coming end...or our own fault, for sitting back and watching the Zombies slowly take over our planet.
Anyway, enough serious crap talk... who's your pick for American Idol this year?
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Saturday, February 26, 2011

ZOMBIE LOOK ALIKE

My buddy snapped a zombie through his lens the other day. He is a self proclaimed zombie photographer, and that this one looked like me... Says he is capturing the New Armageddon. I told him it will be a coffee table book a month after publishing. It 'was' a cool picture though. Better than I could have shot that's for sure!

Friday, February 25, 2011

2.25.2011 Eastern adaptation

Not that its any of my business, But the news is reporting The people of Libya Continuing to fight against Their leader. His claim of extinguishing The zombie infection Has gone on for decades. The people are pissed And rising up against him and his own government. Apparently he has hired mercenaries to go kill the protesters. Which in turn become zombies. Which becomes a plague that is against all parties. Its truly the bloodiest double edged sword I have ever seen. The biggest thing that stands out to me is that there is no ASMZ anywhere to be seen. At least here, when there is total mayhem and anarchy the ASMZ steps in and starts hacking zombies down like a lumberjack in a rain forest. I hate to admit it but maybe the ASMZ 'is' needed....? I still can't stand why they are so mysterious and illusive. My son told me they had a Booth in the gym during career day. Kinda irritated me but this is the zombie world we live in. I'm just glad my family is intact. One unit. We are recruiting new zombie fighters everyday though if anyone is interested ...
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Thursday, February 24, 2011

2.24.2011 Zombies in Wisconsin

People are concerned about Governor Scott Walkers decision to ignore the states Zombie Killers rights in Wisconsin. I don't get it. If there aren't any zombie killers.. who's gonna keep things in place? These people have proven that they can work, they're just fighting for their families now. I don't see what the problem is. The only way he could take the power away from the people is to bring in the government. Or even worse... the ASMZ. The American Science Military for Zombies has the power of the law now. The police that don't comply with them are promptly let go. Its all jacked up.. BTW.. did you know the ASMZ has convinced the school districts around here to take spelling out of the curriculum? They are controlling everything now. Do they even want us to survive this crap? ... speaking of crap. My rifle jammed again when I got home. I slammed into a zombie a few blocks from the house. I could have sworn it was dead....again. But when I went out to check the mail, there he was. He looked pretty fresh.. probably not more than a few days old. So I grabbed the ol' widow maker and took aim. Nothing. I had to use my leaf rake. Took for freaking ever!
Anyway. I'm tired. Peace.
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Wednesday, February 23, 2011

2.23.2011 DAY OF THE ZOMBIES

To see what other countries are going throughToday was one of the worst days for any of us zombie fighters out there. I don't want to get into what happened overseas too much. It's just too sad to see what other countries are going through. I 'will' have to talk about it but just not now. Here in America laws changing so that students can bring their guns to school. I've always thought that was okay, but with new zombies appearing on each campus students are taking shots at zombies and missing. People are dying, then getting up to kill even more. The government will not fund zombie defense training at schools, which basically multiplies the number zombies everyday. Zombie fighters all over America are trying to take a stand but the ASMZ seems to have more power than anyone. They are basically letting people kill each other off just to return as zombies. I don't get it. Just because they put a new law in place to let students bring guns to school, doesn't mean they haven't been doing it for years. Zombies came out and got the attention they deserved. Why arent we allowed to defend ourselves?
On a lighter note, some people have figured out a way to attach some of these zombies to cables, which are attached to a generator. With them in constant motion, this produces energy. They might be on to something there.... I doubt the government would ever let them produce it into something that would actually help us out. As I type this, I've got one moping its way towards me. Someone must of left the back door open. Looks like he used to work for UPS. Poor sap. He doesn't see me though, I'm behind my machine. He is the first zombie I've seen in here since I killed my coworker Mike, who turned last month. Well... I guess I should get off and handle this. Plus, it's almost 8 o'clock. That's my lunch break.
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Sunday, February 20, 2011

2.20.2011 World Wide Zombie News!!!!!

There's alot going on in the news now. Zombies have completely taken over the small community right across the bridge from my work. The only thing living is some plant life and an occasional ASMZ copter flying in and out. That's the least of our problems. If you look at yahoo... they are reporting all the news, but no one is talking about the zombies. What is the problem with these people?!? Over seas, the Zombie unrest has spread to the Libyan capital. The military is hanging on by a thread. Most of their weapons are used up or destroyed. And the news says its all about oil??? How stupid do they think we are? The following food shortage has nothing to do with the price per barrel. Its all about what uncontaminated food there is left to eat.
 Zombies devour whats in their path. They eat all walks of life including each other. That's why they are 'all' so chewed up... literally. I took the map that the mail man gave me and drove by the NASA training complex again the other day. I'm really concerned on what he meant by Zombie Farms. If its what I think... these flesh eaters are being manufactured. For what I don't know. But if hundreds of them can come out of nowhere like they did that night I met up with the mail man...then disappear so quickly....well, they must have some kind of retrieval device set up to bring em' home so fast.
At any rate.. there's more now then there was last week and the news is just blowing them all off like they don't exist. I need more people. More ammunition. More food. More luck.

Saturday, February 19, 2011

2.19.2011 Zombie Outbreak in Deer Park

So I'm working with Larry last night and we hear the siren go off. Usually the only time you hear it is when some chemical was released at one of the plants near by. Just a precaution they'll sound it off. Tonight was different... First it was the siren, then an immediate phone call from the Deer Park police department. "Lock the gates if you haven't already, there has been a zombie outbreak in our town." Not the most comforting news. When I went out, I could hear them moaning in the dark. How they got so close so fast I'll never know. Like they were dropped off to devour what they could till their ride came back. So, while I was out... I took the liberty of recording with my phone.
Now I'm at home. Safe. Family's asleep and I've been playing video games. The outbreak only lasted an hour or so till the ASMZ came and saved the day...or the night in this case. I'll try to get more next time, but my phone was dying while I was shutting the gate.. Oh well. I hope your all safe and sound.
Oh, this weekend there is a rally in Houston. I guess people are pissed so many of the Senate is resigning due to the well known Zombie Cover up in the government these days. I wonder if they'll go to the media...
Till later. Peace.

Friday, February 18, 2011

2.18.2011 ZOMBIE UPDATE

2AM. At work. Just to recap, my coworker came back. His name is Larry. Older dude. Quiet. He has a secret though. He showed me the bottom drawer in his tool box. This man is a seasoned zombie killer. He too was approached by an ex-ASMZ member, who swiftly was eaten off shortly there after. I will be keeping my eye on ol'Larry.
Another thing I noticed was.... there is a group of Zombie Gypsies that's out there bagging the heads of these walkers and blinding them, Robbing them, then placing them in poor communities. The bad thing is, these neighborhoods break out in bloody violence. You know as well as I do the military never shows up to help them. The funny thing is... they paint faces on the bags. A little morbid comic relief to keep the media buzzing.
BTW... did you see the way the government placed Zombies on the border to handle the illegals? They tried to deny it but the locals say the cartels were hiding in their homes reporting the ASMZ's vans dropping zombs off at night...
Anyway, its my shift to take watch outside. I love my job...
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Wednesday, February 16, 2011

2.16.2011 puzzle pieces

K. So let me put some of this together. I have just a moment while my wife and oldest son are out. My youngest son is asleep on the couch(sofa). This dude was some sort of rogue crusader that has been eye balling me and my family for who knows how long. Says that we are the best at what we do... and we are. Zombie killing has become somewhat of an art form in my family. Anyway, this map he stuffed in my hand apparently leads to the back of the NASA training center. That's a few miles away. Already its a headache. The wildest thing is the mention about it being a Zombie Farming Point. That's a new one. I'll go by the area tomorrow and see what I can see without getting out of my Soob. Also, where the hell did so many zombs come out of nowhere last night? I mean, either NASA is just completely over run with those creeps or they must have them on tap. The Zombie guard dogs was a nice touch I might add. Too bad for the mail man. I'm sure he had more information to give up before he was shredded into 8 pieces. Really gotta watch your back these days. Zombies are slow and annoyingly loud. If they sneak up behind you...well, your just not in the game to win.
On a lighter note. Obama laid out his tax cuts for America. Doing some good I'm sure, and really pissing a lot of people off at the same time. I mean, how can you tax every fire arm in the house...individually, when you need them to stay alive these days? Everyone knows the Zombs are government manufactured. They're just not owning up to it.  Next thing you know they'll be taxing all the ammunition. There seems to be no way out of the toilet bowl. Maybe I can get a job for the ASMZ?? j/k....... They're as bad as the government.

Tuesday, February 15, 2011

2.15.2011 Rendezvous at NASA

I had the weirdest night. I decided to ride my bike and stay quiet. It's much faster than any zombies. Along with my 9 millimeter I brought a baseball bat that I've been dying to use. I was able to get really close because I used a bicycle. The man who left the note was there waiting for me already. He handed me a map that leads to the backside of NASA. He told me he was watching me and my family, And we were the most successful zombie killers he had seen. This place he showed me on the map was going to be the next zombie farming point. He was  a really short and nervous man. After he showed me the place on the map he grabbed his bag and told me he used to work for the ASMZ. I got on my bike and started riding away with the map in my pocket. I got about 12 pedals away when this guy yells, " Wait there's 1 more thing!". I stopped my bike and turned around to see a horde of zombie dogs surround and attack him. They must have been security dogs. They came out of nowhere. And behind the dogs came hundreds of zombies. It looked like they were coming out of the ground, like an old horror movie. Stumbling and moaning out loud they made their way towards the guy (who wasn't even a guy anymore). I was shocked to see how many zombies there were. It was such a clear night 15 minutes ago. I pedaled and I'm home now. Safe. Puzzled.
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Monday, February 14, 2011

Valentine's day. 2011

Upon arrival, I noticed a white van leaving my parking lot. I'm sure it was the ASMZ. I tried to make out the plate number but it was too dark. When we came in, I turned off the alarm and starter unpgacking. There was a note on the inside of the door, nailed up. Tape would have done but were dealing with some real scum here. The note said,"tomorrow night, meet between the two jets by NASA. 1am sharp." That's tonight. Its 8:30 pm now. I've got a few hours to scope out the scene before I think about even showing up. There was no threat, but I am interested in what's going on. And why would the ASMZ break into my house to nail a letter to my door? Doesn't add up. Ill take my 9mm in case I get mixed up with with some spooks. Or worse..... some of those crazy NASA engineered zombies. Ill report as soon as I get back. Wish me luck. Over and out.
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Saturday, February 12, 2011

2.11.2011 WEDDING

In San Antonio now. My brothers wedding was today. Luckily there was not one Zombie in sight. It was outside. Beautiful day. The only action was on the way here. There was a jail a few miles east of Seguin TX that let loose. On the news it said it was the trustees that started this attack. Seems they arrested someone that turned 'after' they put him in the public holding cell. After he turned, his whole cell became infected. They grabbed a trustee that was trying to squeeze thru the hallway. He got infected, then he attacked some officers who made their way to the front. Zombies started gushing out of the police station. Caused a farmer to wreck into the side of the building. Truck caught on fire, sending flaming Zombies out to town. Any way. The dude on the radio made it sound pretty comical. But when we had half charred zombie officers stumble into your car during bumper to bumper freeway traffic .....well....its not the funniest thing in the world. Again...lock your car doors out there. Sighing out.
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Friday, February 11, 2011

2.10.2011

Burning community
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Thursday, February 10, 2011

2.10.2011 SLACKER

I know, I know. I said i'd keep it hot but there was a....well.... something happened. After work, I stopped at the convenient store to get some gas for the jeep. It was really cold so im jumping up and down, making a small scene at 4 in the morning at my little gas pump. Thats when I heared the worst zombie moan ever. It was coming from across the street. Underneath an over pass. He must have seen me moving around. I knew I was his target cause he turned his direction towards me almost immediately. I saw the gas ticker flicking as fast as it could. I wished it would tick faster but it was slow. The zomb got closer and closer as my tank filled up. The handle clicked and I hung it up, got in the jeep and turned it on never taking my eyes off the walking mess. He was too. One of the more decomposed ones ive seen so far. He must have been one of the ones from the community fire earlier. I say he. It could have been a she. I'll go with he.
Well, my heaters on and i'm watching this slop with legs make his way to the center of the road when BAM! A big huge ASMZ bus runs right into it. It was like a red powder container got squeezed. There must have been ice on the road but the bus wasn't able to slow down or stop. It ran into the zombie and crammed face first into the underpass wall, flipping it over. The back door swung open on impact and out flew a hand full of those disgusting things. I sat in my jeep and watched the whole thing. This dude from the ASMZ staggered out with his white coat and mask on. He didn't make it too far.  There were too many of them. I heard some loud bangs behind me and looked in the side mirror. The convenient store was locking up. Slamming huge metal sliding covers over the store windows and door. I could take a hint. Exit stage left. Sorry for not having any pix to elaborate. But when the undead are pouring out of a short bus you know its time to hit the road. So I did. I had to exit and drive right by the scene. It 'was' gory, but what isn't these days right? Plus, the media desensitized us long ago.
Anyway, I'm at home now, getting ready for bed. My wife and two boys are up, getting ready for the day. My oldest has 27 markers on his wall. That's just this month alone. I guess the zombies are getting thicker around here. Not too worried though. My family was made for this.

2.9.2011 TOTAL MAYHEM




The zombs have destroyed most of this community about a mile from where I took these pix. The ASMZ is there... of course. They are shooting and burning the last of the walkers as I write this. The only thing separating my location and them right now is a bridge. Iced over from the cold. The zombs couldn't make it over so they kept sliding back to the bottom. I bet that was hilarious. Bad thing is.... there's no way out for the living. Why the ASMZ wont copter them out ill never understand. Ill keep this blog hot till it cools down out there.

Wednesday, February 9, 2011

2.9.2011

I'm going to bed now. My wife has left for work and the kids are both in school. There's another big freeze coming through in the weather. This should make for an interesting few days with all the new zombies in the area. It's getting downright annoying just transporting people to and from school. Even with the new spikes mounted on the subaru it's still a pain in the butt. I'm trying to come up with a way to safely remove the zombies from the spikes. Most of the time they're still not dead or undead. There is this dude down the street who offered to take them off last time. I will probably slip him a 20 and let him do it again.
The ASMZ has been snooping around my neighborhood again also. I think they're keeping a close eye on my neighbors house as I tried to sneak in the other night. I mean... I do have a key but I don't want to look obvious. Other than him having my hose still I did hear an interesting sound coming from his house the other night. I just want to get in to get keys to Zombie Burger.
But all in all, crime has gone down. There's only 2 or 3 zombs on my whole street today. Everyone seems to be pretty aware, even the children.
I am however going to keep my eye on the ASMZ. There little white vans are becoming more abundant. I wonder what they have in those things. Some of them seem to have some sort of satellite attached to the roof. Kind of like those Google cars.
Well it's bedtime for me. I'm doing the night shift again tomorrow, probably 12 hours. Be careful out there. Over and out.
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Tuesday, February 8, 2011

2.8.2011

What's going on in egypt. At first the mobs were just trying to get rid of the president. But when the dust cleared, you could clearly see how many zombies there were. Those poor protesters should have stayed home. They are trying to cover as much as they can on the local news. First the zombies knocked out the satellite internet reception. That is the least of their problems now. The president says he will step down from office, if he even get the chance. Zombies are reportedly running rampid all over egypt. People are trying to take care of themselves because the military has fallen back. Don't know why I'm reporting this, as if you don't know yourself. I hope it never gets that bad here. Signing out for now I will update soon.
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2.8.2011

Just got off work. Bout to drive home. My coworker Larry didn't make it back from lunch. Hope he's ok. He was going on about how since all this started him and his wife fight all the time. He was going to fix all that when he hot home... or least that's what he said. I know it'll be a big adventure getting home too because I could hear one or two of the Zombs banging on the bay door to the shop. I'm getting my adrenaline up, just in case... we'll see.
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Monday, February 7, 2011

2.7.2011

Off to work. This Old man knocked on my door this morning. He lost power a few times. He was asking if we lost power too. We did but centerpoint came out and fixed it. Apparently a mob of zombies ripped out a transformer in search of some rats. With people getting better on zombie self defense, the walking dead are getting desperate.
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Sunday, February 6, 2011

2.6.2011


Took a picture of my Soob with the new spike rails on it. Sweet right. My buddy can weld them on for you if you need some... Which im sure you will. Its so much easier getting to work with the extra armor. Zombies can be so thick sometimes...

2.6.11

Just woke up. Had a thought. Not to be shallow, but Zombie Burger is vacant. Or should I say, available. I plan on owning that place. It would be a good place to have as a back up for my family. If Zombies overran my neighborhood we could set up there. Fill it with food storage and arms. But today, my sights are on my neighbors house. With him gone, its only a matter of time till Zombies wander in and squat... or stumble there. He gave me a key to his place in case he went on vacation. Ill wait till later. It'll be easier in the dark. I probably shouldn't, but I just want to snoop around a bit. Plus, he still has my water hose.
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Saturday, February 5, 2011

2.5.2011

Stuck at work. All others went home but me and one other dude. I saw the ASMZ outside earlier gathering up the undead. Hope they get them all. Its cold and foggy out tonight. Makes for a creepy drive home. It 'is' funny though how I seldom see Zombies without the ASMZ lurking about. .....they must be dating ..
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Zombie Burger

Friday, February 4, 2011

2.5.2011

So this cold has blown through Houston and frozen just about everything. I decided to take the Subaru out a few hours ago to see how bad it really was. The news came on earlier today to let us all know that the city will be shutting down for a few days. As I drove, I could see all the SUV's that crammed themselves into ditches. Over zealous drivers never get very far. And the bad side is... the Zombies. They don't do very well with the ice and snow either, but they do great once they find some trapped family in a wrecked car. My sons insist on staying at home to protect.. Don't know if they are afraid to go out with me or just...well.... smarter than I.
I stopped in to my neighbors dive, Zombie Burger. I decided to park around back just to get a closer look at the zombie show he had planned for the night. Weird. Didn't see anyone.
I parked anyway and made my way to the front door. Just like everything else, that brass handle was Freezing Cold! And, just in case, I had my 9mm ready for action. Good thing too. When I opened the door, I expected to see groups of drunkards, singing some old Irish song in unison. It was... of all things...anything but that. I immediately had to jab a charging zombie right in the jaw. Luckily the punch stunned him enough for me to continue my assault while he fell to the ground. One good stomp and he was no more trouble. There was four more coming at me at an alarming rate. I suddenly realized, I should have brought my shot gun. With hand guns, you need to be a good shot. Especially when you have the walking dead as your rival. I decided to let them all get closer to me while I double checked my escape routes. All windows and one door. I took aim and shot at the two fastest approaching zombies.The first one fell with one shot. My ego was beyond where it should have been because I unloaded 5 shots into the head of the next zombie before it fell into pieces at my feet. Sometimes shooting a zombie in the head just isn't enough. It has to completely destroy the brain. Realizing I still had two more flesh eaters coming my way I took aim and pulled my trigger. CLICK. Nothing. I pulled and pulled almost in denial until I could feel the uncomfortable warmth from the dead body reaching out for me. I darted past him and jumped behind the bar, where I found my neighbor. He must have taken his own life because there was a pistol in his hand and a hole in his head. I quickly snatched the gun from his hand and turned around to kill those two dead farts. I must be loosing my touch because by the time I turned around, the two turtle zombies had made their way to me, and then some. Before I could even aim, the zombie grabbed my arm and opened his mouth. He looked hungry. I pulled back hard and dropped the gun on the counter top. Picked it up with my left hand and rammed it into his temple. The tip of my gun was buried in his head before I even pulled a shot, so when I did, it sounded like I had a silencer on it. The zombie fell lifeless and bounced off the bar, falling into my last target. The zombie stumbled back from the new obstacle. Time seemed to slow down just for a second for me. I, had almost been bitten. Since the hole I fell into with my wife at NASA, I hadn't had hand to hand combat with any zombies. And for some reason, all the anger from loosing my freedom, friends, some family, my dignity and a lot of sanity came out all at the same time. I aimed that gun at the last stumbling zombie and started stomping towards him. Instead of shooting him, I kept my aim and started throwing bottles at him. I picked up a stool and launched it at his head. I started yelling at the top of my lungs, that I was tired of living like this. I was tired of worrying about those... things. I was pissed that I cant fix what happened. I remember tearing up but I must have been enraged because I don't ever cry. Finally, after throwing things out of my way, and with my back to the door; I held that pistol like it was the American flag. I was proud to put this evil out of 'my' misery. I wiped my face and just as I went to pull the trigger, the door opened up and I fell ass first into the cold of the snow. The cold froze my face because of the tears. The ASMZ was surrounding the building. I was looking up at a man dangling my keys over my face. "Get up and leave HotRod". Just as I got up, they yanked the gun out of my hand and pointed to my car around the building. Out of breath and angry I stood there with my mouth open. I cant believe they aren't even going to let me kill that animal in there. They can study any other zombie in the world, but I wanted that one.
Anyway. On the way home, I 'happened' to see a few zombies walking through the park. I ran over those buzz kills. Pretty happy about the spikes I installed on the Subaru.

This is at my work the other night....

I heard this HUGE explosion and went outside to check it out. It was cold already but I had a jacket. I had checked the perimeter earlier so I knew there were no zombs out there to worry about. But this is footage of the explosion I saw. I can only assume that the zombies started it. Maybe blew a gas station up involuntarily. Not far enough away though. Maybe I should spend more time inside...?

2.4.11

Fire started by the dead
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2.4.11

Cold out
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